WHY RELATIONSHIPS SINK.

I want to appreciate God for this privilege given to me to be one of HIS loudspeakers.

We will consider WHY RELATIONSHIPS SINK.

We cannot exist alone, we are not lone- ranger.

Relationship is behavior or feelings toward somebody else, it is the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, and especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another.

MY BELIEF: Our discussion here today will help in all forms of relationships. It will also help us to live longer, help us to be a better friend, make us a better citizen and help us even in our relationship with God.

Relationship just like every other ship is designed to carry passengers, but the sailors determine the speed and the direction. Irrespective of the instigator of relationship, IT CAN SINK!

When some GIGANTIC relationships like that of TITANIC sink, people question God especially if they have conviction that God led them to it. It takes more than love to sustain a relationship. So, let’s examine together why relationship sink.

Sink relationships are one of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life. Working on successful relationships is one of the most important life skills we can learn.

When a relationship sinks, we always question ourselves why? What’s wrong? Why it did not worked out? Of course it hurts a lot, and many people even find themselves crying and even become half dead.

If you are still in relationship at this moment, thumb up for holding on to that treasure. Relationship is a jewel we should know how to take care, fight and defend for.

And if you are not in relationship or just become a broken hearted person from a recent breakup – if you cannot restore it, locate the faulty bricks and don’t take them to your next relationship.

If we know why relationships are liable to break down we can avoid the pain involved. Let me class relationship into 3 base on their health.

1. STANDING: This relationship is 80% healthy, all things been equal it will get to the destination.

2. STRUGGLING: This involve actors and actress, they might be pretending to friends and family that all is well when things are not getting better for them. The relationship is 20% healthy and if not diagnosed and treated, will fall flat.

3. STUMBLED: This is a dead relationship awaiting definition. Only Jesus Christ can raise the death, so, this type of relationship needs more than human effort to regain it’s strength.

Let’s examine together why relationship sink, and take a familiarization tour on one of them tonight, I belief today’s teaching will help in all classes of relationship.

1. Anger.
2. Mistrust.
3. Religion discrepancy.
4. Financial strength.
5. Parental involvement.
6. Education discrepancy.
7. Low self-esteem.
8. Please, add to the list.

I will dwell on the number one reason why relationships sink. ANGER!

ANGER is a strong feeling. ANGER is Energy in Motion. It is in every living thing, you inclusive. Just like love, it either grows or reduces.
Anger can be likened to the chemist ACID, only that anger harms its container when not managed effectively.

It kills faster than AIDS.

I am not saying anger kills but when not controlled, it sure will, soonest. Even, flowers when not trimmed make the compound look like a bush.

ANGER can either be:
1. Destructive or
2. Constructive.

Few causes of anger are:
1. Injustice.
2. Frustration.
3. Insufficiency consciousness.
4. Low self esteem.
5. Not being carried along.
6. Unkindness.
7. Pride and so on.
8. Disobedience.
9. Hunger.
10. Ingratitude.
11. Lack of understanding.
12. Lies.
13. Arrogance and many more.

2 THINGS PEOPLE DO WITH ANGER:
Remember I said we all have anger in us and so it is present in all relationships, it is what we do with it that differs, so let's examine what people do with anger.
1. Express: About 80% of the world population express their anger but at different degrees. They rage, blazing fire.

2. Repress: People in this category only show 20% of their anger. Although it is present, it might not be felt or shown. Many at this category have been thought consciously or unconsciously that in order to be nice, you must repress your anger at all time, so it might not be an act of pretends, although some do, they prefer to hide from their spouse to be or employer, just because they don't want to loose their job or person.

Some repress anger because they are conscious of their position or environment. They wear an apologetic smile on their faces and go around fooling themselves with the slogan 'its well' even when what they carry is killing them, they have been brainwashed that that is how to please God, Jesus Christ has died for it all, there is no point killing yourself again, Jeremiah 29:11, God did not need your death to please HIM, repressing anger is red light. Please understand me, repressing anger does not mean that it has ceased to exist but it bury itself in subconscious mind.

So, Hon. Psalm what are you saying? Is this not heresy? What are you saying?
Your Excellency, I am saying, you will live longer if you express your anger.

IT IS BETTER TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER THAN TO REPRESS IT.

I am so sure it is not heretical doctrine, this lecture is fresh, if you will read it in a book after now, am sure God will still use me as the author. Follow me through the book of truth- THE HOLY BIBLE.
The Biblical Prophet, Moses is a good example of what am saying, he speaks his mind to the Lord (Numbers 11:11-15), it was said concerning King David too, that he expressed his mind to God (Psalm 88:13-14; 102:9-10). Please, read about Jonah, Job and Elijah in the Bible, burrow one if you don’t have. If you need more reference, then recall the scenario in John 2:14-16 or interpret ‘Eloi, Eloi lema sabachthani’.
Just like bile in animal, so is anger in relationship.

Anger is always little at the commencement of every relationship.

DANGERS OF REPRESSED ANGER.
A lot was said of what people do with anger (Express it or repress it), let’s examine the result of repressing anger.
1. Bitterness: Weighed down by real or imaginary troubles.
2. Depression: Feeling exhausted and quite unable to sleep.
3. Sickness: The head will be tensed, heart beats faster and irregularly muscles taut.
4. Distraction: Lack of energy and concentration.

ANGER CAN EITHER BE:
1. Controlled: Since, it has been established that anger is energy in motion, then you can determine the direction.

2. Conceived: It can also be put in cold storage deep inside, where it becomes a frozen, heavy, and uncomfortable dispiritedly lump.

Let's move to the MATTER THAT MATTERS which is HOW TO CONTROL ANGER. We need to get into Bible where all solution resides.

1. KNOW YOURSELF: The best education is self education. More than what people say about your emotion define it; know your temperament, belief, origin etc. Studying yourself will help you to judge yourself right. (2 Timothy 2:15)

2. BE ANALYTICAL: Before you start firing, collect relevant data and do little analysis on it, so that you will not be angry at yourself when you discover how wrong you've been by expressing your anger on wrong person or thing. John 8:33. This is a process that will also cool your temper because it takes time to conduct such analysis. You shall know the truth and it will set you free.

3. SAY IT: If you must express it immediately, then say it 'I'm angry at...'. Let people know your emotional status when you are angry. Immediately after you analysis, when you want to express it, say it 'am angry at...'

4. FEED YOUR MIND: Be well fed with positive thoughts because people say what is in their mind when angry, so if there is no negative thought in you, your words at all times will be positive. Luke 6:45

5. GIVE DIRECTION: You can redirect your anger from persons to issues, by that it can be constructive. After your analysis you will discover that some people act according to the information they were exposed to.

6. PRAY ALWAYS: Bail yourself out of religion prison. You can pray anywhere and at anytime. Before you tell man, tell God. Pray for people that offend you and tell them what was wrong. Pray to God every morning for the grace to tolerate people and to help them out of ignorance. You do cause others to anger too, so pray that God should make a source of lesson to others and not push them to commits suicide. God is closer to you than you can imagine. Psalm 145:18

Thanks for reading through, I hope it worth your time.

©ATOYEBI, Samuel B.
http://hon-psalm.blogspot.com/
Twitter and facebook—atoyebabs@yahoo.com
E-mail: hon.psalm@gmail.com

RECIPE FOR GREATNESS

The desire of my generation is SUCCESS, few people aspire for greatness. Success according to Oxford Dictionary is: ‘The ACCOMPLISHMENT of an AIM or PURPOSE’, ‘a PERSON or thing that ACHIEVES success’. , If I set a goal to make my first one million dollars before my 30th birthday, irrespective of how I make it, if my bank alerts me a day to my 30th birthday, then I am a success, I have successfully make the one million dollars. There are many successfully being in my generation, men and women who want fame without playing the game. Before you say your next prayer be sure of the language in use, little wonder the Bible talks of GOOD SUCCESS, (Joshua 1:8).

Success in nth term will equal to greatness. Oxford dictionary defines great as ‘of an extent, amount, ability, quality, eminence or intensity considerably ABOVE AVERAGE’. There is a standard to grow above in greatness; There are few great human on the surface of the earth as wide as it is, although, there are many who dream to be great but what creates inertia or inaction in the lives of many dreamers is that they dread the enormity of what is involved to accomplish their dreams. I know you know there is always a price to pay to receive a prize. Just like the mathematical fixed law; 1+1=2, so is principle for greatness. It is universal, if practiced in Dominica, Ghana, Nigeria, America, and your country, greatness will be achieved. It is a definite and identifiable quality.

Greatness is asking you a question; GREAT NEXT, who is the next great human? Don’t just claim it in Jesus Christ name. Let’s see the recipe for greatness as practiced and believed by these ‘great men’.

A contemplation of God's works, a generous concern for the good of mankind, and the unfeigned exercise of humility-these only, denominate men great and glorious. –Addison

The study of God's word, for the purpose of discovering God's will, is the secret discipline which has formed the greatest characters. –Alexander
Greatness consists not in holding some high office; Greatness really consists in doing some great deed with little means; in the accomplishment of vast purposes from the private ranks of life. -Conwell

Some must be great. Great offices will have great talents. And God gives to every man the virtue, temper, understanding, taste that lifts him into life and lets him fall just in the niche he was ordained to fall. –Cowper

Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force; that thoughts rule the world. –Emerson

He only is advancing in life whose heart is getting softer, whose blood warmer, whose brain quicker, and whose spirit is entering into living peace. And the men who have this life in them are the true Lords and kings of the earth. –Ruskin

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.-Jesus Christ (Matthew 18:4)

And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant. - Jesus Christ (Matthew 20:27)

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. - Jesus Christ (Matthew 23:11)

Greatness is a question whose answer is service. God is whole, human being is part of HIM and the parts are meant to serve the whole. Just as the human body is whole, head, hands, and legs are part of the body that are meant to serve the total body but God can be God without you. We are living entities, being part and parcel of God, duty-bound to serve HIM. Give me the name of a man that serves God and I will give you the name of a great man. I have a question for you; can a man serve God without serving human being?

With due respect to hierarchical order, we (you and I) always render services to someone; spouse, family, friends, company, country, or society. On a lighter note, don’t you think I am rendering a service to you now? There are numerous ways of serving God; if you don’t serve human being you will serve animals. Some who are too big and rich to serve people with their money keep pets like cat or dog. When service rendered is not properly directed it leads to frustration. We must set our priorities right; we are to serve God through human being, don’t turn human being to God, don’t serve to impress man, you will be depressed because you will be oppressed. You cannot say you want to serve a tree and start watering its leaves or the branches, you will of cause watch it and make it newer but it is of little benefit. To serve a tree is to pour water to the root. So, to be great, God is all you need to serve and other parts will benefit from your service.

FINAL NOTE: My 5 years of service at the Student’s Union Government level in Ladoke Akintola University of Technology during my 5 years program and in all the three arm of government (Executives, Legislature and judiciary) help me to conclude that the more you serve the higher you are ranked. Come let us reason together; all living entities are part and parcel of God, so why is human being given a better chance to live better than the swine or other animals? Why does staff’s pay differ from office to office? All things being equal, the more significant your service, the higher your pay. Remember what Newton wrote before he died; ‘Energy neither be created nor destroy…, so, your labour of love will pay off, it is a matter of time. Serve to be served.

ATOYEBI, Samuel B.
(Hon. Psalm)
http://hon-psalm.blogspot.com/
Hon.psalm@gmail.com