I want to appreciate God for this privilege given to me to be one of HIS loudspeakers.
We will consider WHY RELATIONSHIPS SINK.
We cannot exist alone, we are not lone- ranger.
Relationship is behavior or feelings toward somebody else, it is the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, and especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another.
MY BELIEF: Our discussion here today will help in all forms of relationships. It will also help us to live longer, help us to be a better friend, make us a better citizen and help us even in our relationship with God.
Relationship just like every other ship is designed to carry passengers, but the sailors determine the speed and the direction. Irrespective of the instigator of relationship, IT CAN SINK!
When some GIGANTIC relationships like that of TITANIC sink, people question God especially if they have conviction that God led them to it. It takes more than love to sustain a relationship. So, let’s examine together why relationship sink.
Sink relationships are one of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life. Working on successful relationships is one of the most important life skills we can learn.
When a relationship sinks, we always question ourselves why? What’s wrong? Why it did not worked out? Of course it hurts a lot, and many people even find themselves crying and even become half dead.
If you are still in relationship at this moment, thumb up for holding on to that treasure. Relationship is a jewel we should know how to take care, fight and defend for.
And if you are not in relationship or just become a broken hearted person from a recent breakup – if you cannot restore it, locate the faulty bricks and don’t take them to your next relationship.
If we know why relationships are liable to break down we can avoid the pain involved. Let me class relationship into 3 base on their health.
1. STANDING: This relationship is 80% healthy, all things been equal it will get to the destination.
2. STRUGGLING: This involve actors and actress, they might be pretending to friends and family that all is well when things are not getting better for them. The relationship is 20% healthy and if not diagnosed and treated, will fall flat.
3. STUMBLED: This is a dead relationship awaiting definition. Only Jesus Christ can raise the death, so, this type of relationship needs more than human effort to regain it’s strength.
Let’s examine together why relationship sink, and take a familiarization tour on one of them tonight, I belief today’s teaching will help in all classes of relationship.
1. Anger.
2. Mistrust.
3. Religion discrepancy.
4. Financial strength.
5. Parental involvement.
6. Education discrepancy.
7. Low self-esteem.
8. Please, add to the list.
I will dwell on the number one reason why relationships sink. ANGER!
ANGER is a strong feeling. ANGER is Energy in Motion. It is in every living thing, you inclusive. Just like love, it either grows or reduces.
Anger can be likened to the chemist ACID, only that anger harms its container when not managed effectively.
It kills faster than AIDS.
I am not saying anger kills but when not controlled, it sure will, soonest. Even, flowers when not trimmed make the compound look like a bush.
ANGER can either be:
1. Destructive or
2. Constructive.
Few causes of anger are:
1. Injustice.
2. Frustration.
3. Insufficiency consciousness.
4. Low self esteem.
5. Not being carried along.
6. Unkindness.
7. Pride and so on.
8. Disobedience.
9. Hunger.
10. Ingratitude.
11. Lack of understanding.
12. Lies.
13. Arrogance and many more.
2 THINGS PEOPLE DO WITH ANGER:
Remember I said we all have anger in us and so it is present in all relationships, it is what we do with it that differs, so let's examine what people do with anger.
1. Express: About 80% of the world population express their anger but at different degrees. They rage, blazing fire.
2. Repress: People in this category only show 20% of their anger. Although it is present, it might not be felt or shown. Many at this category have been thought consciously or unconsciously that in order to be nice, you must repress your anger at all time, so it might not be an act of pretends, although some do, they prefer to hide from their spouse to be or employer, just because they don't want to loose their job or person.
Some repress anger because they are conscious of their position or environment. They wear an apologetic smile on their faces and go around fooling themselves with the slogan 'its well' even when what they carry is killing them, they have been brainwashed that that is how to please God, Jesus Christ has died for it all, there is no point killing yourself again, Jeremiah 29:11, God did not need your death to please HIM, repressing anger is red light. Please understand me, repressing anger does not mean that it has ceased to exist but it bury itself in subconscious mind.
So, Hon. Psalm what are you saying? Is this not heresy? What are you saying?
Your Excellency, I am saying, you will live longer if you express your anger.
IT IS BETTER TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER THAN TO REPRESS IT.
I am so sure it is not heretical doctrine, this lecture is fresh, if you will read it in a book after now, am sure God will still use me as the author. Follow me through the book of truth- THE HOLY BIBLE.
The Biblical Prophet, Moses is a good example of what am saying, he speaks his mind to the Lord (Numbers 11:11-15), it was said concerning King David too, that he expressed his mind to God (Psalm 88:13-14; 102:9-10). Please, read about Jonah, Job and Elijah in the Bible, burrow one if you don’t have. If you need more reference, then recall the scenario in John 2:14-16 or interpret ‘Eloi, Eloi lema sabachthani’.
Just like bile in animal, so is anger in relationship.
Anger is always little at the commencement of every relationship.
DANGERS OF REPRESSED ANGER.
A lot was said of what people do with anger (Express it or repress it), let’s examine the result of repressing anger.
1. Bitterness: Weighed down by real or imaginary troubles.
2. Depression: Feeling exhausted and quite unable to sleep.
3. Sickness: The head will be tensed, heart beats faster and irregularly muscles taut.
4. Distraction: Lack of energy and concentration.
ANGER CAN EITHER BE:
1. Controlled: Since, it has been established that anger is energy in motion, then you can determine the direction.
2. Conceived: It can also be put in cold storage deep inside, where it becomes a frozen, heavy, and uncomfortable dispiritedly lump.
Let's move to the MATTER THAT MATTERS which is HOW TO CONTROL ANGER. We need to get into Bible where all solution resides.
1. KNOW YOURSELF: The best education is self education. More than what people say about your emotion define it; know your temperament, belief, origin etc. Studying yourself will help you to judge yourself right. (2 Timothy 2:15)
2. BE ANALYTICAL: Before you start firing, collect relevant data and do little analysis on it, so that you will not be angry at yourself when you discover how wrong you've been by expressing your anger on wrong person or thing. John 8:33. This is a process that will also cool your temper because it takes time to conduct such analysis. You shall know the truth and it will set you free.
3. SAY IT: If you must express it immediately, then say it 'I'm angry at...'. Let people know your emotional status when you are angry. Immediately after you analysis, when you want to express it, say it 'am angry at...'
4. FEED YOUR MIND: Be well fed with positive thoughts because people say what is in their mind when angry, so if there is no negative thought in you, your words at all times will be positive. Luke 6:45
5. GIVE DIRECTION: You can redirect your anger from persons to issues, by that it can be constructive. After your analysis you will discover that some people act according to the information they were exposed to.
6. PRAY ALWAYS: Bail yourself out of religion prison. You can pray anywhere and at anytime. Before you tell man, tell God. Pray for people that offend you and tell them what was wrong. Pray to God every morning for the grace to tolerate people and to help them out of ignorance. You do cause others to anger too, so pray that God should make a source of lesson to others and not push them to commits suicide. God is closer to you than you can imagine. Psalm 145:18
Thanks for reading through, I hope it worth your time.
©ATOYEBI, Samuel B.
http://hon-psalm.blogspot.com/
Twitter and facebook—atoyebabs@yahoo.com
E-mail: hon.psalm@gmail.com
